By Bruce Feiler

As the saying goes, all happy families are alike. But what do they have in common? Take our quiz to find out—and discover how you can have one, too.

There comes a moment in the life of nearly every parent when you look at the chaos around you and think: There must be a better way! For me, that happened a few years ago. Having survived the slog of sippy cups and diaper caddies with our then 5-year-old twin daughters, my wife and I were ready to develop a family culture. But what are the ingredients that make families effective, resilient, and happy?

It's actually a great time to ask that question: Recently we've seen a stunning breakthrough in knowledge about how to make families run more smoothly. I spent the past few years meeting with scholars, peace negotiators, online-game designers, the Green Berets, even Warren Buffett's bankers to try to glean the secrets to happy families. The questions here are meant to help you do the same.